The Outlandish Next Threat to our Children

by Lisa Cherry

    Richard Dawkins is a  British evolutionary biologist, strident critic of creationism and the most famous atheist of our time.  (Perhaps you remember Richard Dawkins from Ben Stein’s popular movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.)   

    In a recent interview with The Times magazine, Dawkins disclosed that he was sexually abused by a teacher. He also knew of classmates who were abused by the same man.  Then he made this outlandish statement: “I don’t think he did any of us lasting harm.”

Further, he said that he could not condemn the “mild pedophilia” that he experienced.

    His remarks line up with a growing trend to normalize the practice of adults having sex with children.
Are you as concerned about this as I am? Even while our families are standing firm with Jesus, we are witnessing a culture sliding further and faster toward secularism, perversion and atheism.

    The sexual exploitation of our young children is potentially the coming new threat. Consider this quote from an “expert” in Canada (which as a culture is running a few years ahead of us in the moral/sexual slide.)

    “True pedophiles have an exclusive preference for children, which is the same as having a sexual orientation. You cannot change this person’s sexual orientation.” 
--Dr. Hubert Van Gijseghem, retired psychologist, University of Montreal

    In his article “Pedophiles want same rights as homosexuals,”  Jack Minor writes:

    “Using the same tactics used by “gay” rights activists, pedophiles have begun to seek similar status arguing their desire for children is a sexual orientation no different than heterosexual or homosexuals.”

    God help us!! We will need courage and wisdom like never before, parents. We will need to be prepared to strongly resist this mindset as it infects not only our culture "out there" but also our culture "up close."

    God made His will and ways abundantly clear in His word. Even as He wrote out the laws for His people in the book of Leviticus, He knew what was in the perverted unrestrained heart of man.

    I encourage you to look soberly at this disturbing new trend of thinking “a little sex with our kids is okay.” I, for one, would prefer to stick my head in the sand and wish it away.

    But, many are proposing that is what the body of Christ did to the homosexual issue a decade ago.  I think we can all see where that plan got us!

    We must face this new threat in the power of the Holy Spirit. What do we "do?" Well, I am not sure!!! But resisting in the name of Jesus is a dandy place to start!
           

A Double-Life: 13 Ways to Detect Your Child is Hiding Something

www.FrontLineMoms.com

    Surely it has never been easier to live a secret life.

    In fact, living multiple lives is just kind of expected.  Who we are at church...who we are at home...who we are at school or work....who we are online....these are each separate profiles with separate personalities, behaviors and standards. Right? Or wrong?

    Jesus did not have complimentary words for those striving to live double lives. (See Matthew 7:16 and 23:27-28)

    A few weeks ago a close friend of mind was devastated to learn of her child's secret other life. When the hidden online accounts were reviewed, she found answers to questions she had not even dared to let herself ask. Immorality. Blasphemous darkness. Lewdness and rebellion. "How could my child have fooled me for so long?" she cried.

    I understood the sting of her bitter tears. For I will forever remember the pain of discovering our daughter's secret other world.

    I hated to even know what she had partaken of and a part of me wanted to run from the truth! But all secrets eventually come to an end and denial is never a helpful friend.

    I asked myself a hundred times the question so many have asked me. "Lisa, did you not see the warning signs that Kalyn was hiding something? How could you not have known about her other life?"

    That question used to haunt me. Now, it saddens me. But I have determined to learn from my errors.
Yes, I did miss some signs. I did ignore some things that I would later regret ignoring!

    So, for all of us, I want to share some of the top ways I experienced myself or have learned from others about detecting when your child is leading two or more lives.

    Maybe you can share some others with your fellow parents. Maybe you yourself have been enslaved by a double life and remember some of your own behaviors! Let's work together to box out the forces of darkness trying to deceive our kids.

1. Unexplained absences: Missing hours that are not reasonably explained are not a good sign. If the excuse is lame, do not receive it at face value. Investigate.

2. Wardrobe changes: Often our kids wear their new lives like a banner on their bodies. A style change often means more than just taste. They are making a statement. What or who is the statement? I discovered Kalyn's new desire to carry her backpack was so she could change her clothes after she left our house and before she arrived with her new "friends."

3. Silence: A person living a double life is often mentally and emotionally exhausted. It is easier to withdraw from social contact, throw up thick walls, and quit talking.

4. Changes in media tastes: Pressing past or sneaking around the family regulations on media rules such as movies, Internet, TV, or music is a significant warning sign. The kingdom of this world has a familiar sound and language. When your child's heart is attracted to darkness, it will show up in his tastes for entertainment.

5. Lies: Lying becomes a habit. Kalyn says she got so used to living her double life of deception, she found herself habitually lying about little insignificant things and then just laughing to herself. Never ignore a pattern of lying.

6. New friends: this seems obvious. Birds of a feather flock together. Face it. If the new friends have certain issues or problems you are seeing, your child's friends' parents may be noting the same thing....in your child!

7. Arguments that are out of character: "But mom, a little cussing is really not a big deal...." coming from a child who you have never heard use profanity. Perhaps cussing is normal in her other life!!   See Luke 6:45.

8. Eye rolling: Every teenager is tempted to dishonor their parents at times. But when you suddenly become the "enemy" in daily life, watch out. A guilty conscience will always look for a misplaced location to dump blame.

9. Suspicious online behaviors: Reluctance to reveal passwords to parents, quickly moving screens or signing off when you approach them, odd purchase orders showing up on your Amazon account. If your family's online behaviors are not in the light, chances are they are in the darkness! (Have you signed up for an internet monitoring service such as Covenant Eyes yet?)

10. Underperforming or over-performing:  My friend's child's schoolwork fell way down. Kalyn's schoolwork went way up! A change will often mean something.

11. Obvious changes in sexual countenance: When sexual thoughts are being aroused somehow in a child's life, a teen will often exude sexual overtones both in dress, demeanor, speech, and behavior. Trust your gut instinct if you note a problem. And investigate. Wow, do I wish I would have followed this advice!

12. Physical problems: A double life is a stressed life. So is it any wonder that sicknesses follow the increased stress and pressure. Kalyn lost weight and suddenly needed naps. My friend's child had constant stomach complaints.

13. Loss of interest in spiritual things: It is not normal to dump God. But it is common to move away from Him when filled with guilt, fear, shame, or doubt.  The enemy is wooing our kids with promises of "freedom and fun" in the secret life. We, of course, know his plan to steal, kill, and destroy.

Getting to Know You

by Linnette R. Mullin

"Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you. Getting to hope you like me…" ~ from "The King and I"

    Do you ever struggle with the God question? If God is real, why…? If God is good, why…? If God really loved me, why…? As Lyme victims, we struggle with the why's of it all. At least, I know I do. And I want honest answers to these questions.

    God has placed me in a state where there is little Lyme and no Lyme literate doctors. Yet, he also placed me in a Church that preaches about the whole character of God. I've spent a lot of time in tears as I've learned more about him. Trying to put all the pieces of his character together can be like working a jigsaw puzzle. I want to understand. I need to understand. I'm tired of living in survival mode with an attitude of acceptance  under duress. I want to "count it all joy" when I face the trials God brings into my life (James 1:2-4), but how can I when I can barely raise my head above water to gasp for air?

    John Calvin once said, "You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy." I want complete joy, don't you? But supreme suffering? No, thank you. I don't like pain. I don't like suffering. Yet I do suffer and there is no end in sight to this suffering. So, what am I to do?

    I've been in this church for three years now. My pastor who just retired spent his time and energy helping us get to know Jesus. I tend to be so internally focused that I forget to focus on God and others and so I don't know him well enough. I think I do, but most of my thoughts about him tend to be based on what I see, hear, and experience rather than on truth. Thankfully, God gave us the Bible - his written word, so we might get to know him and understand him.

    I still don't have all the answers to my why questions, but I do know God loves me and that I can trust him with my suffering, pain, and loss. I also know he has a purpose for it all. I may never completely understand it in this life, but I know he loves me and I can trust him to do what's best for me. I also know that the more I get to know him, the more peace purpose I find in my illness.

    What about you? Do you struggle with the why questions? Do you know Jesus? Are you familiar with his sufferings? Do you have the assurance of God's love to strengthen you and help see you through each trying moment? Do you want to get to know all about God?

    Isaiah 26:3-4 says, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock." ~ ESV
Let's get to know him… get to know all about him!


Linnette R Mullin is the author of life-changing romance. Her debut novel, Finding Beth, releases late 2013. Linnette is also the founder and director of Palmetto Christian Writer's Network - PCWN, and an advocate for chronic lyme sufferers everywhere.

Forgiveness

by Dawn Lee

    Forgiveness. How can a word bring such turmoil into your life but give you such peace at the same time? Why is so hard to give forgiveness but so wonderful to receive?

    There are so many words for forgiveness: absolution, exoneration, clemency, indulgence and the one that jumped out at me was MERCY. Mercy is forgiveness? Wow, that is amazing to learn! It's not that I didn't know what mercy meant but I never equated it to true forgiveness. In my mind's eye, mercy is a pardon; and still another word for pardon? Forgiveness!

    I finally understand what true mercy from God is. It's His forgiveness for our transgressions, our sins that we commit against others and against His commandments that He gave us to live by. God knew we would sin, that we would break His heart. No matter how much He loved us, no matter how many times He tried to show us the right way - His way - we would fail miserably as humans. God tried so many times to right our wrongs, gave us signs to follow His lead instead of our wordly ways. There were plagues, droughts, famines. It got some of us to take heed, but a lot more of us didn't.

    So what did God do to show us how much He loves us? God sent His beloved Son to save us all. My heart aches knowing what Jesus went through on this earth to give us the peace He wants us to have- the grace and MERCY that our Father wants to give to us - which by all rights we don't deserve, or so most of us think. Jesus walked this earth loving unconditionally, healing the weak and broken, performing miracles beyond belief, giving hope where there was none and above all showing mercy where others wouldn't.He did not discriminate. What most considered misfits, were loved unconditionally by Jesus. He forgave those who hurt Him, betrayed Him, lost faith in Him, without blinking an eye.

    The more that I learn through the Word of God, the more I learn just how precious and wonderful was the act of love Jesus gave to us when he was given that cross to bear. He was in such agony, felt so alone... all for us! All so we would know his Father's unconditional love for us and we would have God's mercy, His forgiveness. He knew we would be born in sin and it's the only way we could truly see His love for us and could draw us closer to Him, for Him to protect, love, bless and show us His mercy.

    God knows we will hurt others and others will hurt us - sometimes intentional, sometimes not. I will be the first to say, sometimes it is hard to forgive those we love -- REALLY hard. Especially when you feel like you've had your heart ripped out of your chest!

    I find myself more and more comparing my hurt to Jesus bearing that Cross for me. What's been done to me doesn't seem that bad compared to what He went through. I stop, I think, I pray for guidance and give it to God. Only then can you truly forgive that person.

    Our heavenly Father wants to protect us from harm, He wants us to have peace. The only way to have that peace is to let God handle your hurt, your pain. He doesn't like to see us hurting, but if we don't tell Him, if we don't lay it at His feet, then how can He help us? Your hurt will fester into anger, and angry words to actions. Who are you hurting in the long run? No one but yourself. One of my favorite quotes is "Not forgiving another is like poisoning yourself and expecting them to die."

    One of the hardest persons to forgive is ourselves! We have all made mistakes in life. We are all sinners. Some may believe that some sinners are worse than others, but that's not true. We are all sinners. He loves us all unconditionally.         We are all able to receive God's grace and His mercy. That's the gift He gave us on that cross. There is no discrimination or distinction on the sins you have committed. He loves you!              All we have to do is repent and ask - you shall receive all that He promises.

So why live one more day in turmoil because of that word - forgiveness. Why not give forgiveness to those in your life that have hurt you. Don't let them take another minute away from true peace God has waiting for you. Forgive yourself, because you Father doesn't want you to live another day not feeling His love, His grace, His mercy.


         

What's a Pastor to Do When Struggling With Loneliness & Moral Failure?

 What's a Pastor to Do When Struggling With Loneliness
& Moral Failure?

Pastoral Ministry: Healing the Walking Wounded

by Dawn Irons, M.A., LPC

    This article is part 2 of a series that I began last month. I was looking at the top 10 reasons pastors quit working in ministry:

• Discouragement
• Failure
• Loneliness
• Moral Failure
• Financial Pressure
• Anger
• Burnout
• Physical Health
• Marriage/Family Problems
• Too Busy/Driven

    In part one of this series I discussed the issues pastors face with discouragement and failure. In this issue I will be discussing what goes on when pastors deal with loneliness and moral failure.

Loneliness

Seventy percent (70%) of pastors say they do not have someone they consider a close friend in whom they can confide.

    There is an old adage that says, "If you put me on a pedestal the only thing I can do is fall." No one can stand forever on a pedestal.  Many Christ-followers have highly esteemed their pastors and ministerial staff. This is not a bad thing, in and of itself. Even the Apostle Paul encouraged other believers to "follow me as I follow Christ." But there is a danger in this place of being highly esteemed as well. 

    One of two things will typically happen when a pastor is held in high esteem by his congregation:

    1)    His ego is stroked and there is a tendency to become prideful. Pride breeds nothing good. A pastor who emotionally feeds into the praise of his congregation will come face-to-face with burnout quickly. When a pastor feels needed he will often lax, his boundaries, which is a fatal mistake. When pastoral boundaries lax his family and ministry will suffer immeasurable loss.

    2)    A wise pastor will be gracious to accept compliments, but also be quick to give God the credit and acknowledge that he faces the same battle the people in his church do and that is why we must depend on the Spirit of God to empower us. This is a fine line. It will require being gracious, honest and vulnerable. It is a difficult thing for a pastor to share a level of transparency with his congregation. Wisdom must be utilized so as not to be overly transparent. Congregants are all on their own spiritual journey. Some can handle knowing the pastor struggles and some cannot.  These details are all a part of maturing and discipleship. But still, some level of transparency should be utilized with great discernment.

    Pastors often feel lonely because they often help carry burdens of many people. This requires a level of confidentiality on his part. If he were to just share his heart with various staff members about different situations, it becomes its own form of gossip. So there is a catch-22.  A pastor needs to have close friendships who can be as "iron sharpening iron" and yes, due to many reasons, pastors are not able to do so within their own churches. This can become very isolating and lonely to pastors. Most pastors have hundreds of acquaintances, but very few close friends.

So what is a pastor to do? 

    I highly recommend pastors locate a Celebrate Recovery program that is designed specifically "for pastors only". This will create a genuine support group of other pastors where they know what you are going through. It is a safe place where you can vent, unload the cares of your heart and confess the areas of your struggles and find accountability. In this environment that level of transparency is safe, does not involve people in your congregation, and may be the outlet you need for someone to finally pastor the pastor. 

Moral Failure

    Christianity Today did a survey with pastors who could answer anonymously. This survey showed that 40% of the pastors who had taken the survey had admitted to infidelity or being sexually indiscreet with someone in their congregation.  Of that 40%, only 7% of the pastors said their churches ever found about it.

    Could it be that loneliness and moral failure are related?  Where there is loneliness and isolation there is also a lack of accountability. Another study of pastors done by Dr. Mark Laaser, Ph.D showed that 40% of pastors admitted to looking at online pornography. One-third of those said they had viewed a pornographic website in the last 30 days.

    Laaser's study of pastors revealed that pastors admitted to having an addiction problem in the following areas:

•  88%  addicted to WORK (being a work-a-holic ) 
•  38% having an addiction to food25% having an addiction to caffeine
• 19% having an addiction to alcohol
• 6% addicted to nicotine
• 6% addicted to excessive spending

What do we do for our warriors who are walking wounded?

    Eighty-eight percent of pastors studied were shown to struggle with depression and anxiety. These results are not adding up to a recipe for spiritual growth and health.

Accountability is crucial

    Pastors need to have a safe place to work through their struggles. Many pastors felt they could not turn to denominational leadership for help for fear of losing their jobs.  This creates a catch-22 problem for churches.  Yes, pastors in crisis need to be able to reach out for help without fear of automatic punitive reprimand. They need to seek restoration.  At the same time, a pastor who is actively committing adultery does not need to be preaching from the pulpit, but rather privately removed and restoration sought through counseling. Healing will be needed for the family in a situation like this. This is not the time for the church to just fire the pastor and throw the wife and kids to the curb with him. 

    Satan loves silence. As long as our wounded warriors-of-the-Cross are suffering in silence they see no hope of freedom. 

Confession, Restoration & Reconciliation

    For the pastor who is out there and struggling in a situation where they don't know where to turn for help, remember this… God is not through you with you yet.  He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.  What Satan means to destroy you, may be the very launch pad to your freedom. But that requires a brutally honest inventory of what your struggles are. Are you willing to be transparent and vulnerable and seek accountability-possibly with other pastors? The statistics are sobering.  Forty percent-that is almost half of the pastors in ministry.  Chances are you are not the only one and you will find relief and restoration after confession and seeking accountability.

    The church needs more Nathans and Ananias':  Nathan who would love you enough to say, "You are the man" if you fail to confess your sin and struggles, and Ananias who would say to you after complete repentance and restoration, "Brother Saul…". And we all know how that story ends! Brother Saul became the Apostle Paul and the acts of the church are still moving forward to this day!

    Again, God is not though with you yet. In fact, this just may be your beginning!  There is help and there is hope.

Resources:

The Nathan Project: Developing & Maintaining Sexual Integrity in Counseling and Ministry
Staff trainings available by Hope Harbor Counseling.
www.HopeHarborDFW.com
972.804.2876

www.CelebrateRecovery.com (ask for pastors-only groups)

www.faithfulandtrue.com with Mark and Debbie Laaser

www.covenanteyes.com

              

Loving & Living With Someone Who Has Bipolar Disorder

by Dawn Irons, M.A., LPC

 There is much written in medical journals about bipolar disorder. We know the symptoms and diagnostic criteria. There are literally volumes of books written on bipolar disorder, but I have rarely come across material to help people of those who love and live with family members who suffer from bipolar disorder.

 Do you recall the movie TWISTER from the 90’s? The movie depicted storm-chasers in their quest of seeing and studying an F-5 tornado. The F-5 tornado in the movie was nick-named “The Defender of God”. The destruction was deadly. The tornado brought devastation and destruction that had no equal comparison. There are few survivors of a tornado of this magnitude.  And now you may be wondering what does any of this have to do with bipolar disorder?  I want you to imagine what you would do in the instant you get a warning that a tornado was on the ground and within a half-mile of your home.  Close your eyes and sit with that image for a moment. What do you do?

 Now, imagine one step further. What if you had no notice at all? What if, while you were at home, a tornado dropped out of nowhere and you had no advance warning-- what would you do then?  No warning, no preparation, just basic survival instinct—what would you do?  This is how many loved ones of a person suffering with bipolar describe their daily lives at home.

 One mother actually used the image of the tornado.  She said, “I live 24/7 with a tornado on the ground in my home. I never know what I am going to find when I come home.” She described the sheer terror and torment of loving someone with all her heart whom she also lived in fear of—for her own safety and the safety of the bipolar adolescent.

 Another family describes having to arrive home an hour before the rest of the children got home from school to make sure their child with bipolar disorder had not committed suicide and been left for the siblings to find.  Suicidal attempts and self -harming behaviors are common problems for those suffering from bipolar disorder--and were a constant battle with this family. The mom also described how in an instant the suicidal thoughts could turn to violent behaviors towards other family members. Ultimately this family had to install an internal alarm system in their home to sound a siren when the child’s bedroom door or window was opened so the family would be alerted to the child’s movements because no one ever knew if she would be suicidal or inflict harm to someone else in the family.

 The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recently reported that research has improved the ability to diagnose bipolar disorder in children and teens. Prior to this recent research, children and teens with bipolar disorder were diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder --and the official bipolar diagnosis was reserved for those over the age of 21.

 Adults suffering with bipolar often have similarly frightening displays of symptoms. An eleven- year-old boy described how court-ordered visitations with his mother, who suffers from bipolar, left him feeling like he was having to parent his parent and monitor her safety with her frequent suicidal threats. He learned when her episodes were bad to go across the street to the convenience store and have the clerk call the police.  They would transport him to his father’s home and the police would be the adult-help to check on the safety of his mother.  This was a survival skill for the boy, but it provided a written report for the court to show the depth of damage being done to the child with unsupervised visitation with a mother who was not medication-compliant with her illness.

 Another common display of bipolar symptoms that affect the family is out-of-control and compulsive spending during the manic phase of the illness. Many families have lost their homes, filed bankruptcy and even lost their marriages due to the inability of knowing how to live with a constant tornado on the ground that is ravaging destruction in their homes on a daily basis.

So what is a family to do?

•  Develop a family safety plan during a time when the loved one’s bipolar symptoms are manageable and they are not acting out
•  Educate the family by attending a support group for family members of bipolar loved ones
• Get the bipolar loved one to sign consent forms (if they are 18 or older) for their medical professionals to be able to discuss their medical condition with the family members.  Often times when a bipolar loved one goes to a medical appointment they often report that “things are fine” because they have acclimated that the behaviors have become their normal. But the perspective of a family member of what home-life is like from a different point of view may be beneficial to both doctor and family.
• Set clear and firm boundaries of what will be acceptable and what is not—and be consistent with the consequences of broken boundaries
• Have a preventative plan of action in place of how to encounter bipolar anger. It will surface. You want to know, and have practiced, how to handle such situations so as not to escalate the problem by responding from your own initial shock and anger.
• Seek family counseling. It is helpful to have someone from outside the family offer perspective and insights that will help the family maintain effective communication, problem-solving skills, and to develop safety plans and family contracts. It also is helpful for spouses, siblings, etc. to have their own point of view and feelings heard and understood by someone who can validate their experience and help give them survival tools to navigate family life with a bipolar loved one.
• LOVE your bipolar family member with your whole heart. They did not ask for or want to struggle with this illness.  Keep in mind that this is an ILLNESS—it is not just bad behaviors and bad choices. They are being held captive and tortured by their own mind.  It’s just not as simple to say “it’s all in their head”. It is a medical condition that can be successfully treated with consistent medication-compliance and therapy.
• One fact cannot be overlooked: Every family that has a bipolar loved one is hurting—including the one suffering from bipolar disorder. The bipolar patient is living in their own place of pain the family will probably not fully understand. Likewise, the bipolar loved one will likely not fully appreciate what their family members have experienced as a result of the illness that plagued the one they so deeply love and want to understand.

 I will end with this quote by Kay Redfield Jamison from her book An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness:

 

 “There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against-- you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”

   

We Are Cherished: A Butterfly’s Story

Dedicated to reaching women in the sex industry and empower them to discover they are loved, valued and cherished


www.wearecherished.com


 Six months ago I was sitting in my run-down apartment, a crack pipe in my mouth, lonely, scared, and thinking my life was about to end. I was consumed by so much guilt and shame. I felt like I was in a dark cave, with a big rock blocking the entrance. I could not move.
 At 19 years old I started working in a topless bar called DeJaVu. What drew me was an ad in the newspaper saying "If you like rock-n-roll music, and love to party while making $500-$1000 a week as a young girl, this is the job for you!" I didn't know what the job entailed, but it sounded fun and I checked it out. After persistent coaxing from a gorgeous manager and a lot of alcohol, I was on the stage........

 The first night I was a full blown alcoholic and within a month was introduced to cocaine. The security guard would give me a "snort" to wake me up from my drunken stupor before my next set.  When I was on that white, I felt like I could do anything. I could have the most intelligent conversations (I thought) and could dance all night. 

 10 years later I could not live without cocaine, spending money as soon as I made it to support my habit. The lining on my nose had worn so thin I could no longer snort it, so I free based it. This was a whole new world. I no longer made it to work because I was too busy getting high. I couldn't put the pipe down, so I started selling my body to the drug dealers to get high. 

  As a child, I had been raised in Church, but never had a relationship with God. I had a lot of Bible knowledge, but never knew God on a personal level until I went to prison. While I was there, I had nothing to do but read the Bible, do Bible Studies and go to Church meetings.
 One day, feeling completely hopeless, I heard a message that God loved me despite all I had done and how I sinned. I had never heard that before. I always thought God didn't love me, he didn't like sinners, and he was going to send me to hell. I thought after all the pain I had caused my family, there was no way He would love me.

 When I got out of prison, I had a new outlook on life, I was saved. The world looked different, beautiful.....I loved and was loved. I was changed and my goal in life was to be a servant for Christ. I met a wonderful man (I thought) who was the praise and worship leader at the church I was going to. His testimony was like mine: delivered from drugs, alcohol and a life of crime. Three months later, we were married. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

 Two months into marriage, he relapsed, started sleeping around, stole and pawned everything possible. I was devastated; my heart was utterly broken as I sunk into a deep depression. The only thing I knew that could take the pain away was drugs. 

 I went back into prostitution and drugs. I knew this time I would not get out of my situation alive. Only a miracle would save me.

  Pimps and Johns were after my money because I had tricked them into paying me and got out of the services they paid for. It was a living hell. I had my crack, but it wasn't working any more. I finally reached my bottom. The pipe in my mouth and tears rolling down my face, I prayed with all my heart, "God, I know you do love me. I am desperate, please help me out....I can't live like this anymore. I can't do this my way anymore.....please help me or I will die."

 As soon as I set the pipe down, there was a knock on the door.  It was my caseworker from the housing program I was in. She said I had thirty days to get out of the apartment or they were going to turn me into the police for drug trafficking and prostitution. They knew I needed help and gave me the number to a rehab center. I knew at that moment, God gave me a way out. I was accepted into the rehab on March 22nd, 2013. While in rehab, one of the counselors heard my story and recommended a wonderful support group for women. My spirit fluttered (like a butterfly) deep within me when she said "We Are Cherished." 

 I've been clean and out of the industry almost six months! My son and my youngest daughter are in my custody. I have a job, and I see my other 2 daughters three or four days every week. Before I was clean, I thought I would never see them again. God is restoring my family, and I am free. I know that I can go through hard times and struggles without having to use drugs or sell my body. I am a new creation. 

 Cherished has shown me the love I thought I never deserved. Now I know who I am in Christ. I am made in His righteousness. I am beautifully and wonderfully made. I no longer have to live by sight, but by faith. I know that if I seek him first, ALL things will fall into place. I no longer have to fear, guilt and shame. I AM FREE.

*Name has been changed to protect Butterfly's identity.